The Miracle of the Corporate Economy

When is a job offer not actually a job offer? Might as well ask, would you like regular or premium with your yummy Gulf of Mexico shrimp? Well, OK, maybe that isn’t much of a comparison, or analogy, or whatever; in any case, lacking any Clown Train (to be defined and explained at a later date) offenses to decency and good taste to illuminate at present, I offer this little e-mailed snippet of corporate vomit to all my fellow unemployed compatriots. This is 100% real -- the message, if not the purported “job” it supposedly relates to:

Sullivan & Myers, major in digital and offset printing industry in the United States, is expanding its network and hiring several professionals. Sullivan & Myers have over 10 years of experience in digital and offset printing, as well as in advertising industry. We specialize in both low and high budget resolutions. After crisis, printing & publishing industry has experienced drastic. To adjust to a new market environment and get overcome new challenges, our team is in need of few more professionals. A position of Junior packing specialist is available and highly responsible individuals. This is a part-time that fits best students or those not satisfied with full work-day. This job requires reasonable level of computer literacy, high-speed Internet access and ability to perform routine orders while working under some pressure. This is a great choice for those who wish to increase their monthly revenue as Sullivan & Myers offer fair remuneration and some advantages for employees, including paid vacation and reasonable discount for services and products of the company and its partners. If you are interested in this job, please with your attached. Please note/pay attention that only short-listed candidates will be contacted. No calls will be accepted.

A translation into non-Russian-mafia-transliterated-American-English would be appreciated, but not particularly interesting. Junior packing specialist indeed!